The start of a social renaissance

For almost 2 months, 2 ladies captivated me with their character in life and the similarities of qualities. They are psychology students from my school and in essence I saw a wonderful future with them, most particularly the Queen of the Great Blue Rose.

Let's just call the Queen of the Great Blue Rose: Queen Rosalinda.

She currently dominates my diaries as I began writing about her last month. I gained great interest over the past month. I saw enlightenment and grace in her being. Queen Rosalinda is an introvert with innumerable great qualities. Her insights are very sensible, even though they are questionable, but these insights are mainly her opinions, which I thought are convictions. Queen Rosalinda is so contemplative and somehow mysterious to all that she chose to be private most of the time. She claims that the blue rose is the positivity in her life despite the negativity on this world. She is very interesting to know and understand.

The more I got interested in her, the more I tend to visualize what kind of friendship would be in store for us, the stronger my intentions for the friendship to develop. Divine providence even made me realize the worth of this friendship. The friendship of truth and genuinity. Note that 99% happened virtually and it is still happening. I have envisioned that this could be my first great friendship with the enormity of Noah's Flood. I assured her that I will be sympathetic with her in all aspects and I know that she will realize that this friendship will mean everything to me. This doesn't mean that I am replacing others, it just means that I would like to experience something I was always deprived to do due to insecurities, anxieties and fears. It is a milestone for a socially inept person like me.

What I like about Rosalinda is everything. She can impress people by her means of clear expression. She can impress people with her speech-like messages. I also call her "The Epitome of Encouragement." She has the ability to encourage people, she has changed my perceptions of what a public school is like. She has been a leader for a lot of times.

Her wisdom can never be as controversial as Pandora's Box, because she lives by something fragile which I can call "The Royal Vessel". Yes, The royal vessel is a vessel which has a size of a Genie's Lamp on Disney's Aladdin. The outside is limited but the inside is limitless since it can never be full. The contents float as objects of knowledge, wisdom and experience.

Despite all of these things happening, she is currently on a state of self-conflict. She is on a state of emptiness, and of melancholy. She is so natural when she types. I am trying to understand her but because of her nature of introversion, she chose to contemplate on her existence which leads her to act mysteriously. Even though these things happen, I am very proud and very glad beyond reasonable doubt to be a true friend, which is my very first. She is my inspiration. I acknowledge the genuine worth of the friendship. :) I even have thought that my friendship with Rosalinda helped me get closer to God through her and through this.

Let's just call the girl from the neighborhood of love: Laura.

Laura, is a girl who came from the neighborhood of love because she just came out from the dark side of love. She's wonderful to be with and she sees books as a collection of adventures and journeys. She happened to be an alumna of my former alma mater. We became friends not only because of this, we became friends because of the bond of trust we developed.

I also wrote about Laura in my diaries, but not as much as the Queen's. Laura is such a wonderful person as she can be very sensitive with certain things. She is as delicate as a pyramid made of game cards. She can endure cartoon graphic violence very well, because they are just cartoons not real actors. She is artistic not only with her musicality but also with her anime art. With music, she plays the violin. Perhaps, medium level violin. :)

She is very much approachable and She is so kind that she really trusts me. She is on the way to be a very strong girl, psychologically speaking. Why? She has endured so much that she has conquered the emotional pain at its greatest extent which is only known to the nature of her experience.

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So, in general these are the kind of girls, I can learn to trust, to rely on, to acknowledge, to support, to help, to understand, to know, to confide, to sympathize, to communicate, to be sincere with, to be honest with, to respect, to adore, to cathect, to accept, to be humble with, and to be comfortable with.

I can be with them both in their worst and in their best of attitudes. I will promise to myself that I will try my best to be a great friend to them. This is something I never have done before and I am willingly to break my insecurities, calm my anxieties.

This is MY social renaissance after staying on a state of learned helplessness for a very very long time. I had been on the course of fears and anxieties which prevented me from being someone who I dreamed to be. I chose them because I would like to experience new things I never experienced before. This can be the beginning of a new life. The start of a social support group. I have imagined myself to hug them as it can melt my heart to the softness of a marshmallow. They are the rare treasures I can cherish for a lifetime, because they can make a difference in my life as I can make a difference in their life. I am willingly to be my truest self and I really mean it. They are too rare to let go.

There are people who are irreplaceable because they can mark your heart with their uniqueness. There are people who will never abandon you no matter what happens. Friendship is truly something priceless. Now, I realize the essence of friendship through different online articles. I am thankful. I hope they realize the same thing. :) Thank you very much.

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I, in the other hand, am willing to transform into a better individual. I will watch inspirational videos, read online articles, listen to great music. I have been analyzing myself a lot, trying to discover who I am as a person.

As a BS Psychology major, I am committed to escape the perception of paranoid imprisonment to the state of self-discipline, freedom, wisdom, responsibility and self-acceptance. It will take a lot of work but I am sure, with their help, the help of other people and with the help of the guidance counselor, I will come out with confidence and honor. My being, my dignity and my identity will show me that I have a life worth living even though I always have had an inexperienced past. I transcend to the best of my being and shine like a diamond. :D

Be compassionate. Be a concerner. Be a friend to all.

"What you say about others is a reflection of who you are."
- Kyle Victor Jose

College and Break: An Update

INTRODUCTION

5 months ago, it was the beginning of the new school year and the 1st semester. I was registered as a BS Psych II irregular student. I was initially enrolled for 2 subjects, but that wasn't enough, so I added 3 more which is totaled to 5 subjects. 5 psychology subjects with initially only 2 professors, but later 3.

The subjects were: Industrial/Organizational (I/O) Psychology, Social Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Guidance and Filipino Psychology.

These were my subjects, and I see them as challenging but stressful subjects. I was in the intersection between BS Psych II and BS Psych III. We've got prelims (40%), Midterms (40%) and Finals (60%). My difficulties lies in Guidance and I/O Psychology.

The professors gave the classes a set of very bumpy, confusing and non-inspirational adventures (Well, just 2 of 3). I consider myself as the secret critic of the professors. No one is safe from the scare tactics (of confusing fear with respect) of the professors. That's why they get easily frustrated at times.

I am still very confident to pass these subjects and I will find out on October 15, 2010. :D

COLLEGE DISCIPLINARY POWER

The College has been making moves of re-structuring the culture of discipline, by making the movement of right-wing authoritarianism very evident. I have been contemplating a lot and writing a lot in my diaries about the reasons, about the ethics, about the morality and the legality of things as I have tried questioning the authority in my own way: by writing in my diaries. I never got to understand the true intentions and the objectives of the college and the reasons of these means. That happened in July.

Yes, the College is ruled by the "rule of man" not by the "rule of law". If that is so, so be it. :)

THE PARTIAL SPECIALNESS OF THE 1ST SEMESTER

What makes the 1st semester quite special to me?

Mae Sia- This lady here, is wonderful and I see that she is a people person. She is a very private person as she has the tendency to worry that many people will not understand her very well. There are times when she makes time, wonderful to me. She is commonly misunderstood by many people and she chose to be hidden to all. She can be sensitive at times and she always tries her best to keep her cool. I don't mind her walking away from me at different times, because she has many reasons why and I know she would never disclose those reasons to those she can't trust. Mae, Thank you for keeping me company at certain times.

BS Psych III- This is the class where diversity of great intellect and magnificent appreciation exists. Despite all of the noise, I still manage to be part of it. You will find here people of different cultures with traits that can be very flamboyant yet hyperactive, unconventional yet extraordinary, unpredictable yet chaotic. Such uniqueness is unmatched and I was very glad to be part of your class as that was my last time to be your classmate. Though, I was not extremely attached to this class, due to many psychological issues I hold, I still get to have a great time with them, even though our professors get frustrated. :D

BS Psych II- This is a class bigger than BS Psych III. I will be graduating with them in 2 years time. This class seems to be extremely socially territorial. When you are with them, you can clearly see the division between the groups. I never really connected with all of them, but just a few. They may be very chaotic as well as they are very talkative. I always have thought this was a golden and ideal section before I met them. I have overestimated them a lot. There was a time when I was really infatuated with someone as she never knew about this.

This is a class where noise dominates tranquility. It is night life in the classroom where people can start imagining discotheques activating. LOL! "Hyperactive" is the word I can describe them as they uphold their own urban cacophony not only with words but with actions. They joke a lot. The quiet minority can sometimes be infected with the noise virus and they become noisy, at certain times. I also was never really deeply connected with the class. I might as well get used to them already. :D

Selected BS Psych I students- There are very few BS Psych I students I am curious to connect with (Particularly BS Psych I-01). Just 2 of them happened to be wonderful and I have chose them to connect with me. One of them happened to be an alumna of my high school and the other happened to be full of mysteries. The others are very interesting to interact with as well. I always observe them from afar and I was in conflict with myself whether I would like to approach them or not. I may be able to talk more about the 2 soon. This is a very interesting batch because there are 2 sections. Section 1 is the "Greater Section" and Section 2 is the "Lesser Section".


MDC to MTC

Manila Doctors College has finally planned to change the name of the school to "Manila Tytana Colleges" which is denounced by its students. Here's what I said about it and it is stated in the Facebook page called "Manila Doctors College" instead of Manila Tytana Colleges:

I wonder, if the name of the school change, does this really mean that the essence of the current core values (6 C's ) and the Mission and vision, which constitutes our identity as students of this college, change as well? Consider the consequences of the students once they apply for a job. Also, one must specifically analyze the reasons, the causes, the effects of this change, to develop a certain agreement between the students and admin. Think about it. :) Being "Competent" is one of the 6 c's and we should be competent enough to consider everything from every perspective.

Being "Caring" is one of the 6 c's and we students care about our image as a student.

Being "Committed" is one of the 6 c's and we students are committed to do something about this.

Being "Creative" is one of the 6 c's and there should be a role for the students through the student council to go for a contest to change or to retain the name. After which, the student council and the admin must look for something to agree on and that will be the final decision. I suggest that the student council should look at this as part of their projects with the consultation of the Student Affairs Directorate.

Being "Culture-Adaptive" is one of the 6 c's. We students can adapt to a culture with acceptable and ethical standards which magnifies our identity into something better.

If we possess all of these values, we would have the "Competitive Advantage" to realize the true essence and existence of what the school, which we represent, should be.

:)

I hope the people on top would possess these core values as well, otherwise, it will not work very well. That's the truth and the reality we face.

Well, I am starting wonder if they will start losing students if this happens. If that is the effect of the name change, then, it is not the loss of the students but the loss of the authorities. That's the worst case scenario. If they will change the name, then they will be changing the whole thing. I wonder what the accrediting agencies of the different courses and CHED (Commission on Higher Education) would say about this?

BS Psychology will be having its accreditation by PACUCOA this coming semester and I must say that this issue will definitely be raised as through accreditation, the people on top will start to realize the effects of this planned name change. It is most likely, only through the process of accreditation, can the college change its mind on the name change. :)

SEMESTRAL BREAK

The semestral break is a like a 3 week break between the 2 semesters and I must say that I will find things doing worthy of my time as I still analyze myself in many ways and in many aspects for me to improve to be a better person. I will spend my time in the internet (particularly FB) and I will spend my time writing in my diary.

THE LIFE OF A DIARIST

I still hold a pen which writes my literature as part of my life. It is a record worthy of remembrance and reminiscence. It can be used as evidence of some tragedy or event OR it can be used as a mini-series of my autobiography. Writing is my life and it is now a habit I worship. As an Introvert, I have intentions to leave no hiatus whatsoever, unless it is required. It is something I will never abandon and it is meant to be preserved. It is a tradition I will start as a person and it may be continued to my possible descendants. It is something noble as it is a kings treasure from the soul. I will treasure it to the very best.

"The biggest is fear of the unconquered self is still the self"- Diary (09/25/10)
"I am an virtual narcissist and a actual neurotic"- Diary (10/10/10)

Thank you, fellowmen, for reading. :D