A roller coaster week of goods and bads

The week, May 11 to May 16, 2009 is a week when I had my first experience of getting trapped in an elevator, buying an X-mini speaker and being deeply ashamed of showing the "Dedicated one" my latest poem here and finally, the rehearsals of the up-coming recital had begun coinciding with the discussions on the last years of Jose Rizal.

If you recall about my post on X-mini, you will understand. According to the receipt, I bought the X-mini on May 12, 2009 in Robinson's Manila for P1,200. It is very good, because it is very loud realistically.

I think, last Thursday was the day I felt really bad because I showed the dedicated one about my poem the night before. Here are the other reasons why I felt bad. I finally did acknowledge my faithful friends after the "counseling" with a comrade couple and a P.E. teacher at Luneta, near the Agrifina (AGRIculture-FINAnce) Cali Pulacu (Lapu-Lapu) Monument at the end of the horrible day.



I was trapped in an vintage or an antique Otis elevator in an apartment building with my ninang and the elevator operator. This elevator is not the modern type. It has a sliding door inside. Just like those elevators in some places in New York city. That sliding door has to meet the opposite side from the point of attachment in order to move. The cause of the mechanical malfunction is the drastic letting go of the sliding door, making us trap inside the elevator, more on the 6th floor than the 5th floor. I was so patient enough to wait. This happened at 6:00 to 6:16am of May 12, 2009.

The name of the recital is called "Luneta 2009", which obviously is based in Luneta. I have among the lead roles which is one of the balut vendors. I will show you the press release of the recital soon.

The day was very stressful because of shame, intrapersonal conflicts and guilt. I was traumatized (meaning, difficulty of coping up the distress).
1) Shame- because I felt bad to show the "Prophecy of Romance" to that "Dedicated one". I had misjudged the relationship of that someone and the other guy. I call that someone Lienne and the other guy, Brian. That would be my greatest mistake in the workshop.
2) Intrapersonal Conflicts- There are 2 forces existing in oneself (Objective Force and Obstacle Force). The Objective force is the force pushing oneself to the limit, while the Obstacle Force is pushing back to where I've been before. So, the Obstacle Force is usually stronger and it may eventually lead up to guilt.
3) Guilt- I am too guilty to show who I really am. (Other's typical advice is: Don't be guilty, because they are too busy of taking care of themselves.)

The biggest objectives are to score high in the exam and in the recital. I am on the process of memorizing the lines and applying from what I have learned from the workshop.

Honestly, you cannot be an actor if you have less number of experiences and have no knowledge of observations.

"Acting is half-shame and half-glory. Shame at exhibiting yourself, glory when you can forget yourself. " -Sir Arthur John Gielgud, OM, CH

I have finally found my temporary belonging and created a foundation in this workshop. For life's experiences will never dull the being.